Be Fearless

Tell yourself some truth.

This really is all it takes to live that life that sets your soul on fire.

I should stop here now.

No, I will continue.

I try to remember how growing up was for me and in one sentence all I can say is, it was Lieful, if there was a word like that.

Who told me the lies?

No Other person but MYSELF.

How?

Believing what everyone had to say about me and acting just that way.

You are living a life of lies if actually you are living off a script.

I struggled to find my face and understand what my message truly was because I felt I have been told this and that and so if it is not this and that it is not the way forward.

Be careful how you listen to people's advices concerning your life, including myself because really and truly it is not in anyone's DNA to help you understand your life, they can only guide you to becoming the best of yourself but you have to determines yourself first.

I now have a message, I am glad but to everyone who has reached out to me to ask me how I got my message, I did two things, I asked God for it and I told myself the truth.

Sometimes we ask from God and just feel we have to wait for it to fit in with the crowd before it becomes valid, No! Your message is peculiar to you.

I teach you to master your mindset and overcome your fears, did I always know this Noooo.

But I had to ask the right question to get the right answers.

My candid advice, stop the struggle, tell yourself the truth and live your uniqueness.

It is okay to start confused but do not stay confused.

#Nomoreexcuses

8 E’s Principle - An Ultimate Guide to finding Purpose by Onyinye Etoniru

Onyinye Etoniru shares her story to purpose discovery with her 8E’s Principle - an ultimate guide to finding purpose.

Growing up, I heard a lot about the importance of finding one’s purpose in life. While I was in the University, I took interest in topics and books on purpose because I knew it was one thing I had to get right in life. I remember reading Rick Warren’s Book, The purpose Driven Life. After reading it, it gave me a good idea about purpose but it was all still fuzzy and unclear to me how to really find my own path. But with time, I realized that my purpose in life is determined by God and the discovery of my purpose is not God’s responsibility but my responsibility. As I submitted myself to a life of attention to God and His workings in my life, that’s when I began to truly find my fit in life. The revelation of the knowledge of God, opened me up to the discovery of my purpose. Purpose is one of the essential things you’ll need to discover amongst all other discoveries. You can’t afford to neglect the law of purpose if you want to achieve personal success because the full expression of who you are is embedded in purpose. There is no true success outside of one’s purpose as your vision in life is derived from your purpose. You’ve got to find what you were born for and why you were born at a time like this. Finding my purpose started with me, truly having an encounter with God. The more I got closer to God and went through His process of building me up and allowing myself to experience the potter’s touch, the more He revealed His purpose for my life. I had a picture of my future and an insight into who I would become but I needed to take out time to pay attention to my life, listen to God, connect the dots and receive clarity with the help of the Holy Spirt. 

 

Remember Joseph, the dream he had about the sun and moon and eleven stars  bowing down to him which represented his parents and his eleven brothers bowing down to him, was not man-imputed but God-imputed. This vision was a picture of the future but the purpose was discovered during the process. He knew he was going to rule someday, but he didn’t have the details of the process. As he took steps each day, purpose became clearer to Him. Joseph’s story explains the course of purpose that you can use as a reference point.

I’ll share with you the 8e principle, I discovered on my journey which you can as well apply in finding your own purpose. It starts with pictures of your future, having a vision derived from your purpose and exploring your interests. It may not be a day discovery, sometimes it may be revealed in parts via the seasons of your life; but three things are essential, being sensitive to the things that’s happening in your life and around you, learning to connect the dots and staying in the path where you find true fulfillment.

 

The 8E’s PRINCIPLE

As you read each principle, meditate thoroughly on each of them and write down detailed answers of your findings.

 

Eye - what do you see about your future and how do you see yourself?

What great picture of the future birthed in the Spirit, have you carried in the depth of your Spirit for as long as you can remember? (Vision)

Ease - what you do so easily with or without little or no prior knowledge and without stress when compared to other people doing the same thing? (Ability)

Ears - what have you heard overtime from people that you’re good at?  What have others pointed out to you, commended you for and celebrated you for? Listen to these trusted voices. (Talent)

Energy - what do you do, that leaves you in an energized mode no matter how long you spend doing it and it’s not exactly tiring? (Interest)

Excitement - what is that thing that keeps you thrilled about waking up in the morning to do it, read about it and talk about it? You have a high state of aliveness, tranquility and satisfaction knowing that you would be doing this for the rest of your life. (Joy)

Experiences - what outstanding experiences have you had in the past that has shaped your life and you feel it has something to do with your destiny? Find out why you passed through those experiences, there may be more to them. (Lessons)

Environment - what problem are you driven to solve in the society? Which set of people are you drawn to serve and on what platform are you inspired to express these solutions? (Pointers)

Enlargement - what have you been involved in prior to now, that has experienced expansion, increase, growth even with little effort?  What are the things you’ve been engaged in that has resulted in mega results and expansive outcome? (Results)

 

Connecting the dots closely via these principles, you’ll be able to discover the most prominent ideas, truths and pointers to help you define your path. Remember, it’s not in your place to choose your purpose, your responsibility lies in discovery. Finding purpose has a large extent to whether you become truly eternally successful or not. It’s not okay to live each day out of sync with your purpose or settle for what comes your way or what others or your parents think you should be doing. You should be destiny conscious enough to invest effort and time in finding your purpose. When you do discover it per time, make sure you don’t leave your purpose but live your purpose with courage.

Communication with Self

One of the ways to eliminate fear is to communicate with self.

What is communication?

A two way dialogue, where one person speaks and the other understands and vice-Versa.

One key factor in communication is to ASK QUESTIONS.

And that is one important part of communicating with self to eliminate fear.

What is it you fear? Is it relationship, is it failure?

Whatever it is, one thing you should learn to do is ask yourself questions.

How To Create Peace On Your Inside for Better Results (Part 2).

Yesterday I started the lesson on how to create peace on your inside for better result.

I gave the number one point which is CONSCIOUSLY SAY THOSE THINGS: I stated that we should say those things out and let them flow. Allow your expression from your head flow freely from your lips, automatically you awaken the filtration method in your mind which extracts the relevant thoughts from the irrelevant, as you speak you keep hearing those things which are not supposed to be and those that are.

The Second way is to STOP: I mean STOP, stop saying those things now, it is almost a habit for us to start something and not know when to stop. You need the time to stop and think about all you have just said. Pay proper attention to the words you have just spoken:
Now in this stop process, there are things to watch out for. Remember every thought that has passed through your mind or rather that bothers us are what we have categorically termed BAD. Remember nothing is bad until we say it is. So when a thought becomes a worry it is because we have attached some sort of negativity with it. So now the question is:
The things you have said out which did you categorically stated as Negative/bad, why?
Upon answering that we can then go to the next step which is

How To Create Peace On Your Inside for Better Results (Part 1).

Asides the fact that the greatest peace comes from feeling and having the presence of God, we also have the obligation to create that peaceful life for our everyday living.

There are times when we try to cloud our minds with things that matter and things that really truely do not matter (stop for a minute and ask yourself, what is bothering my mind now and does it really matter?)

We often get so carried away in our thoughts that we barely know or have time to sort out which is right for us at the moment and which is not.

I can tell you this because I know and I have been there. I was once called a thinker box, I travel in my own mind in less than 5mins, I remember then in school, I could be having a lecture and I am gone in thoughts, one day I had a friend walk up to me and tell me, you really should stop this act and I wondered what it was, he has been observing me and he had noticed that I think a lot.

Prepare Your Mind

Nobody needs to tell you.

I remember waking up today with so much excitement feeling, like I got everything I needed and even more.

I stepped out feeling really neat and my clothes well straightened, it is Monday and there should be a lot of excitement in the air. I walked down the street and I boarded a vehicle headed to work.

The weather was so beautiful just before I left home, it just felt like that kind of day where you would want to sit in the sun and just admire how beautiful nature looks.

How to create Peace on your inside for Better Results .

Asides the fact that the greatest peace comes from feeling and having the presence of God, we also have the obligation to create that peaceful life for our everyday living.

There are times when we try to cloud our minds with things that matter and things that really truly do not matter (stop for a minute and ask yourself, what is bothering my mind now and does it really matter?)

We often get so carried away in our thoughts that we barely know or have time to sort out which is right for us at the moment and which is not.

I can tell you this because I know and I have been there. I was once called a thinker box, I travel in my own mind in less than 5mins, I remember then in school, I could be having a lecture and I am gone in thoughts, one day I had a friend walk up to me and tell me, you really should stop this act and I wondered what it was, he has been observing me and he had noticed that I think a lot.

He spoke for a while then he asked, can you share a bit of your thoughts with me? So I know if I can help out?

I paused for a minute and it was almost like I saw my head spin 360 degrees in half a second count. I could not place my head on one thing at the moment, I realised that even though I knew I was going through a lot in my life which I had placed in my head, I was unsettled with the important and unimportant thoughts.

I then started out on a journey to crave for peace of mind, I knew I was troubled and I needed to find peace.

Now what do I mean by peace?

Make the CHIOCE.

Pain and sadness are natural expressions and if they exist freely from our inside we have no choice but to freely give them out, so also is joy and total happiness but then there is one factor that splits across both and that is CHOICE, you have the ability to choose how you treat yourself, nobody can teach you to love yourself, you have to make that decision on your own because the truth remains that for every atom of love you show to yourself , you have same amount deposited in you to give to others.

Things and conditions might have caused us pain and that pain automatically leaves a sting but it is our ability to make the choice to Detach from that emotion of pain and move on to joy, see it for good and appreciate its lessons, it might not be easy but it is possible, because the only way you can properly relate with others is when you have a proper relationship with Yourself.

Make the CHIOCE.

Perspection

Perspective is not about what you see but the meaning you label to it.

I am faced with a situation of how life has happened. But then what really matters are how we view life from the angle we tend to look at things.

Life dishes in our face different scenarios but we are left to interpret those scenarios in way that will set us free rather than lock us up

I remember growing up, I had an amazing(I call it amazing now but then I described it otherwise) experience, I met my mum and dad not in the best of moods after having the couple not happy drama and I was trying to approach my mum to tell her something I believed could help the situation and the next thing that happened was just a feeling that I got that I could not relate why and how but here was I standing in front of my mum who had just given me a resounding slap that has left me wondering “why did you not just listen to me first?”

Smile Because You Can

Is it possible to stay smiling? A question someone asked me the other day. I sat on this question for a while because I had previously had a conversation with a friend and he goes, you are never smiling, you should learn to keep smiling so people will know you are approachable.

I wondered why should I just keep smiling even when walking on the road. But the day I tried it, I got these 3 answers,

Seeking Social Validation

Seeking Social Validation....I AM, ARE YOU? Ohhhh! Scratch that.

Let us start over…

Hey awesome people, I feel so glad having to come drop my 0.5 cents on what I feel on my areas of concentration.

Where did it all go wrong? Are the gyms suddenly increasing in their numbers making people lose who they truly are?

The Journey To Self-Awareness

A lot has been said about mission, purpose and passion, people who do not connect with these almost feel there is something wrong with them, but hey! there is nothing wrong. I totally understand because I have been there, what in heaven’s name does passion mean, what in heaven’s name does purpose mean? I asked all these questions because then I could not connect with what people were saying about purpose, passion, mission and vision and how it related to me. I could not stop asking, must everyone have a purpose, passion, mission and vision?

The answer is a big YES and that was the reason why we were all created, if you have not discovered yours does not mean it does not exist, but to discover your purpose, something must be done first.

I soon got to realise I did not understand any of these questions because I really and truly did not understand WHO I WAS. I really was not aware to Self, I did not understand my values, I never took time to imagine if I even had a skill, I lived everyday as it came. I INTENTIONALLY had to go through the process of getting to know, understand me for me, my skills, knowledge, values and responsibilities and hidden in all of these came the answer to my question of must everyone have a vision, purpose, passion and mission.

I will share on that today as I know there are people out there who have same question bothering them.

It is called the journey to Self-Awareness (My little secret for discovering who you truly are)

My Bus Driver Experience (Anger Management)

I was heading to the saloon from work and on getting to the first saloon being carried in a vehicle, I did not find the stylist I was looking for, I decided to go try my other saloon and since the vehicle had left and so I decided to join a bus. 

After a long day at work, it was not the best feeling to hear a driver who is screaming at everyone in the bus, not even feeling like though he spoke to humans, but hey, I was in and the only thing I could do was wait until I get to my destination. 

I tried making my payments on time because I knew I did not have the exact amount and I needed the driver to get the change before I get to where I will highlight but then he responded as though I was the devil he had a fight with in his dream, so much anger in his voice that I almost did not understand what I said wrong, with my tired self, I did not even have the strength to respond as I knew that was going to lead to different type of things, so I rather held myself and let him take the lead. 

Getting to my place of highlighting, I finally gave him the money and while I was still trying to get out of the bus he decided to start collecting money from everyone and that was going to keep me waiting for a long time, I waited for a while and then I asked for my change, at first it seemed like I was talking to myself but that did not stop me because I was running late, when I asked the next time, he looked at me, sighed and threw the money on the floor then drove off and I was left with the option of picking the money from the floor. At first, I was so upset, my heart was swelling, I could literally just quit all I have to do and go home, I was wondering what on earth will make a driver throw money on the floor. 

But then as I watched the bus drive off, I quickly reminded myself that there are lessons to learn from everything and this was just a test of how well I can take control of my emotions

I was able to manage myself well and had a happy day after all not minding how close anger looked me in the eyes and I said, I am not cut out for this. 

This did not happen as magic, they are things I have gotten to understand and put to practise.

So for the next 5 Tuesdays, I will be doing a few in-depth training on anger management, its cycles, triggers, the Do’s and Don’ts, gaining control and solving the problem.

Making Wise Use of your Time

"Tick Says the Clock, Tick Tick, what you have to do, do quick"

Does this song sound familiar to anyone? I am sure the Ajebutters will relate better. 

Happy Sunday Lovelies. 

I was journeying home from church today and that song came to mind. Nursery rhymes we sang without placing any meaning to it. 

But as I sang it in my head, I heard it speak to me and I thought to share with you. You know I love it when I discuss with you. 

Never assume you have all the time in the world for you to take your time procrastinating and dragging your feet in getting things done. 

Time waits for no one and like my song goes, tick says the clock. The clock keeps ticking it does not stop(I wonder) even  though some days you pray for it to pause for a while and wait for you but then trust me, If wishes were horses.

It is important that as we try to do everything and anything we should also try to manage our time, by treating priorities before minorities. 

Give little or no room to distractions. Have a plan, set your realistic goals in measurable manner. 

Work on better and more productive ways to getting things done. Technology has come to help us, find out the app or drive that can help you achieve a task faster. 

Use time wisely because remember Tick says the Clock, Tick tick, what you have to do, do quick. 

I am considering coming live to share my messages rather than writing. But for now the ministry must still keep moving. 

I love you all and I know you can do it because IT IS POSSIBLE. I believe so much in you. 

I will like to know how many of us sang this song in Nursey school, please reply with "Aunty I" in the comment box. 

Let us sieve the Ajebutter from AjeKpako.

Challenge:

Find out things(app, gadget or articles) you can use to enhance your time. 

I will be sharing a new finding tomorrow, I saw it and I loved it, I believe you should too, I am sorry, I feel like I should just keep writing. 

But I have to run, Sunday Jollof Rice Loading topped with Chicken and ......byee.

The Person in the Waiting Room.

I was having a meeting with one of my mentors today and it brought a light bulb moment(God bless mentors) 

He made me understand that sometimes you do not just have to settle for anything, all you need do is just keep waiting. 

You do not necessarily have to take that leap from your job just because the next looks enticing and hell no this other job did not just soothe you anymore. It's possible that where you are does not suit you but it does not necessarily mean that just any leap is the leap for you. 

A few questions have to be answered first and I will be talking about the most important question:

Does it give you peace? 

It is possible that something looks so nice, it even coincidentally tallies with what you have set your mind to achieve but then does it give you peace on your inside. 

The very clear truth is we all know when we are at peace with something or someone and when we naturally do not welcome them from within but we try so hard to bake the situation and just go with the excuse of it tallies with what I told God or what I imagined in this year 2016. 

The question is not about the tally, it is about the peace because that is the clearest way of making a decision and if you get sincere with yourself, you just make that decision to stay waiting. 

Who says it's easy, when almost the truth stares you in your face. 

But ask yourself would you rather settle for almost the truth or stay waiting for the truth. 

The truth is not a myth, it is a reality.

The 6th Month Relaxation and Year Plan Review

The 6th month of the year is here, it's almost up and it has got most of us having cold feet. A Lot was expected to be done before now but yet little or nothing has been achieved or not as much has been achieved.

It has not gotten bad yet, all it might just need you to do is take some time off. The only way you can get to run at a faster speed is if you take some time to train and understand the tracks and what the race looks like. The same goes with putting your vision into action for the months left in the year.

How to Influence People

Who is a Leader?
A Leader is a person who has the ability to influence people. Anyone who can influence people is a leader or will become a leader someday.

Influence is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behaviour of a person. Positive influence brings out the best in any follower, making them achieve a common goal

I will be sharing 3 steps on how to influence people

Take Control of Your Life

Does my mood have anything to do with my thoughts?

I remember when I used to be the Lady of the mood swingers, when the next minute I am happy and then some moments later, I become the devil you never want to meet, my mood swing was actually like the kids swing, it swings from up to down at will. I almost did not know how to control it but then I also did not like what was going on, some even went ahead to say I was suffering from bi-polar disorder.

I intentionally decided to find out what exactly was going on with me. Why can I not just be happy and remain happy, why do I have to switch moods without a reason.

The truth is I thought there was no reason but they actually were reasons and the major reason was my thoughts.  The thin line between the moment we are happy and the moment we are not is the things we think about. As my journey to finding a solution to this “disorder” began, I realised whenever I listened to songs I always felt like I just got a revival but then it was not about the songs, it was the thought of the feel behind the song.

It is simple to know that the thoughts that go on in our head defines our behaviour. The behaviour/character we let out is as a result of the thoughts we had in our head.

I got to discover personally that my moods were as a result of thoughts of offences, character or action that I could not maybe speak or complain to the individual about. So I believed I had let it go but then It came up someway and somehow to trouble my mind and in turn switches who I am in some minutes.

This is what happens when we tend to store up a whole lot of things from the past on our inside. The thoughts that come out to be negative actions are those thoughts that store up in our minds to become garbage and the best way to let your thoughts be right is to let go of the garbage.

Free up the space.

Are you going to free up your space today?

Is it possible to let go of the garbage? YES IT IS!

I never knew the Importance of Limitation until I was Limited.

Something's about life are just permanent and questioning them will be asking a rhetorical question, like asking why do we grow? So it also feels when you get frustrated and you ask why do things happen this way or why do I feel like I am not enough? This here is what happens when you are going through that process of LIMITATION.

Whenever you experience a limitation as an individual, just take it in its normality and decide what you wish to do with it, you either make take it for its ability to help you grow or its ability to suffer you, but is a choice you must make.

Why then must there be limitations?

As long as growth exist, you must always face limitations, you definitely get to a stage where you begin to feel, I cannot do this, I cannot do that and trust me this phase is normal, it is just like games we play, the higher we get the more skills we need, so we fail at some level and have then we have to retry.
When we are faced with Limitation, it just needs you to pump in a lot of the positive energy, develop yourself even more.

I used to think that when I do not feel good enough about a thing all I needed to do was just pick my Affirmations book and right the positive about it. Maybe when I feel I have not achieved what I ought to achieve in a day, I write it down and say "I finished my day on a great note" It is amazing to stay positive but then I realised this was not helping me grow.So I started getting to understand how to deal with times when I felt down about a task or unaccomplished. And it is simple, I just let the feeling happen, therein can I get what the solution is.

The place of positive affirmations sometimes might not just be the best thing to do when you are at that stage of feeling limited, an affirmation might not just be the right way out, you just need to allow that feeling happen.

The words you speak might not just be the solution, the solution is for you to go do some work.

Are you feeling you are not enough? do not go on countering it by saying, “I am the best”, you will not get any better, sometimes you need to feel insufficient so as to work towards being sufficient.

Positive affirmations are lovely but do not get stuck in the delusion therein that it tends to limit the room to feed yourself more.

When faced with limitations, just understand that it is not the end of the world but an open door for growth.

This is a process you have to face, because it brings about expansion of your knowledge and insight.

When at this stage do not try to compare yourself with another party, resist that temptation because everyone has their stage of limitations and you have to go through yours individually.

Let the season of feeling limited happen because it only gives you time to learn and grow to.

Just as growth is eternal, so is a limitation experience.

Keep training your Individuality because you are the best version of You.
Is it possible? Yes, IT IS POSSIBLE.

I would not stop talking until you start living.

2 Major Steps To Building Your Individuality

Individuality means the quality or character of a particular person that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, especially when strongly marked.

As individuals we always tend to fall off track from this perspective. If we have to build ourselves to be people who make a difference, then we have to first consider ourselves as individuals.

Do we want to make people happy? Yes, we do!  But what happens when in the course of making people happy you tend to lose who you really are?

We have to mind the actions we take so as not to be taken for granted and not loose ourselves.

How then can we build up our individuality?

4 Ways to build Self-Confidence

I am not afraid, I am not shy, I can tell you whatever I want.

This is the voice of a person who knows who they are and where their value lies.

I remember when I could barely say a word to anyone because of fear. I was so scared of both the known and the unknown.

If I needed to go see a friend, I would rather tell my parents I was going to go read or something, people called it lies(yes it is) but I called it lack of self confidence. What would have stopped me from telling them the truth, since I could tell them I needed to step out.

I had to make it a conscious effort to start telling myself, you don't loose anything when you speak out.

Webinar: Strategies for Individual Effectiveness

Kindly sign up for my webinar coming up by 2pm (GMT+1) . Click on this link to be a part of it https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/4227827092018726413 .

Thank you and See you soon.

‪#‎Redefining‬ Self for Leadership Part 4 (Communication)

If we do not speak we definitely cannot be heard.

Communication has been seen in studies to be the most effective way of getting information across to people for better understanding.

Research shows that about 85.5% of the things that happen in life are by communication and 15.5% percent are based on assumption.

This simply states that communication is an important form of our everyday life.

Communication has further been referred to as a two-way channel that involves the sender of the information and the receiver. And as an individual our ability to communicate plays a vital role in our ability to have people listen to us and give us as much value as we deserve. If we do not communicate we give people, the option to deal with us based on assumptions.

As an individual to be seen as a person of influence you have to be confident and pass information. To get things done, make a point, pass information across, all require communication.

Key things to watch out for when having conversation or trying to communicate a message across is:

‪#‎Redefining‬ Self for Leadership Part 3 (Setting Priorities)

Everything is necessary but some are important and a few are urgent.

I once had a conversation with a friend and I realized that he complained a lot about him being so busy that he hardly had time to meet up with important things.

Giving thought to this I realized that sometimes time is not the issue but the proper placement of priorities matter.

To be identified as a person of high importance and relevance we have to set priorities and stick to them. Now, you have the question going on in your mind, what if changes come?

For a professional, working in an organization where you barely cannot make your priority list because one job or the other comes up and you try so hard to please everyone. If a task comes to your table and you have your priority set, you could politely say, I am working on these few within this delivery time but will definitely make out time for yours within these hours. This statement does two things, it keeps you on check and assures the other person that you would get it done even though not at that same hour.

The idea of trying to please people against our own priorities can lead to a few, which includes

‪#‎Redefining‬ Self for leadership: Part 2 (Your Identity)

There is one thing we can never run away from and that's our shadow. Even if we try to leave it goes with us wherever we go. That exactly is what our identity feels like.

We barely know how much influence we leave in the life of people we meet or hang around. By our identity, people tend to look up to us or ignore us based on what we display to them. Our identity is our stigma that we almost cannot depart from.

Having to lead simply means getting to have the right identity.

What then depicts the right identity?

#Redefining Self for Leadership: Part 1 (Words of the mouth).

We never know how powerful the words we use can be powerful until we become victims, people value us by what we say, most things happen to us by what we say and lots more. To be a person of value and to be valued, you have to mind how you use your words. 

Leadership starts from our words.

I personally do know how dangerous the words of the mouth are because I have been a victim.

Happy New Month to us all.

The first quarter is over and it is time to refine self. So we will be doing a series on refining self.  

True Self and Non-conformity

It is often common to see people state how they want to stand out from what people are doing, they want to be unique and then it is funny that more often than not that uniqueness you strive so hard to get is what someone else is already living as a unique style. Quite complicated.

I would not want to wear red because everyone is wearing red, I would rather wear blue. This is non-conformity, trying to stand out and be different from the crowd. Here you have the crowd dictating to you what you should do and what you should not do.

What then is true self? Being your true self means doing what is your best fit.

Most times we tend to mix our lives of non-conformity/uniqueness to being our true self but these two are entirely different.

Non-conformity is making decisions based on dictations from the crowd and True self is making decisions based on self and best fit.


In life we ought to learn to be our true self rather than try not to conform to what others say.

I have been a victim too.

I needed to go for an occasion sometime and I went online in search of a shoe. I saw a very beautiful shoe, it was so beautiful and my size was available(very happy me). I did not hesitate to click the purchase button, then I got a call almost immediately to confirm the order. I was so excited (I am always excited when I know something new that "I love" is coming).

On my way home at the close of work that same day, I stopped at the mall to quickly get myself some toiletries and on stepping in I saw a lady beautifully dressed at first glance, I had not taken my time to look at her properly and when I had a proper look from head to toe....Guess what I saw???

My Shoe!!! I actually felt like someone was wearing my own shoe even though mine had not arrived and then I just automatically said to myself this shoe is everywhere(I wonder how one meant all).

Unfortunately I could not cancel my order, so I had to accept the shoe when it came but then the love I had for it had faded as I already told myself it is everywhere and I can not wear it again.

Reality dawned on me when I realized I needed a blue shoe for my outfit (oh sorry I didn't tell you the shoe was blue) and it was already too late as I did not plan an alternative for the occasion even when I had told myself I was not going to wear it.

So I was left with the option of not going for the occasion or just wearing that shoe, not minding who will be wearing it with me (what a mindset)

The occasion was too important to me that a shoe could not stop me from going, so I came up with a plan C I said I could also be unique and wear a color that goes with the dress, everybody in the occasion will be wearing a blue shoe so let me wear a different color (where on earth did this come from?).

Okay, now you are thinking I am confused but then I actually was very confused because I fought with not doing what I wanted because of the crowd and that was just the major confusion of a life time.

To wrap it up, I went to the blue event with a red shoe that I normally would not have thought of wearing  so I basically did not like my outfit but then I felt good because I was not conforming to what others did(lol) and at that event I was consciously looking at the blue shoes to see if my look alike was there but to my own foolishness it was not there.

So, I had a major loss and that loss was to Self.

And I had to learn this "Never try to feel Unique from the crowd at the detriment of your True Self".

And from that day I told myself I would rather do what soothes me not minding what happens than do what soothes the crowd, either to be unique or as a form of non-conformity.

Now the question goes like this?

Are you still that me that would rather not do something because you are trying to be different from the crowd,at the expense of what you love?
OR
Are you that me that will make the decision to do what is best for you and what you love?

Your uniqueness starts from being original, nobody has your style, nobody can be you. Even if a million and one people are doing a particular thing always tell yourself that they are not "YOU" . If not for anything they do not have your face.

Your look already makes you different and your true self might just be the one the world has been waiting for.

How do you achieve this by connecting to your core value and passion.
 
Quit Non-conformity and stick to True self, that's where your value lies.

Wishing you a very happy Easter. Celebrate in your true Self.

When Life Gives You Lemons, Do not Make A Lemonade

This seems to be the very popular saying "when life gives you lemons, make lemonades.

Totally amazing but guess I tried experimenting it and realized you could do more than a lemonade.

Most people even get to recite this as a poem without even knowing the actual application to reality, Oh well, I was one of those people, who casually just made use of the sentence in a conversation.

But until life gives you lemons, that exactly is when this makes a whole lot of sense.

If you are to be stuck in a job, not loving what you do, like me back then.

Not knowing how to get out of the job or out of my forever unsettled thoughts and mental battles.

I guess this is normal with most people, but unlike myself I decided to think after noticing that I was getting consolations but no solution.

I had huge lemons in front of me, not liking what I do,  always worn out in the stress of doing what is not fulfilling , beginning to start hating myself and battle with so much unhappiness, all these were lemons, very bitter ones at that.

Then I tried making lemonade.  A Lemonade is a drink, it helps you to stay refreshed but for a while.

So I started making my lemonade out of my lemon by trying to tell people how I felt and sharing my experience with them. I got a very refreshing experience because I lost count of the times I kept hearing, "Oh dear, that's so sad, I know how that feels" , a few went ahead to say, "you should try doing something about it" . Very amazing advises, I felt refreshed for the period and believed YES I can get through all of this.

But more often than not, when we are refreshed, it only keeps us bubbling for a while and then the issues come back again.

Sooo... I went further and decided to do something else with the Lemons life had given me and what was that?

This brings my own theory,

When life gives you lemons, extract the seeds and plant them.

Why?

Because then it has more use.

I decided to find a way out of my predicament by not just making lemonades and getting refreshed but extracting the seeds of the lemons and that was by carefully sorting out what my issue was,

Why did I not love my job? , what exactly do I want to do"? Then I started watering the seed by studying and finding out ways to achieve a better mindset and improve on that which I want to do.

Mind you, lemons leave you devastated and feeling depressed, so here was I having extracted the seeds from the lemons, I planted them and started watering them by finding my thoughts right and working towards that which I loved and in return I had a tree of fulfillment.

That tree in turn can now be of good use to people because then I can now share my experience rather than feel refreshed I give someone something to learn.

When you make a tree from your lemons, you open opportunity for people to benefit from it.

-By either selling fruits from your tree: Sharing your experiences, people learn and get to do what they love that will in turn be profitable or
-Using it as a form of shelter, share your experiences, people learn and know they are not alone and want to be the best of themselves.

By this you are making a lifelong impact with your lemons, than a for the minute refreshment.

So what exactly are you going to start doing? Make Lemons or Plant a tree? Let us here from you in the comment section below. 

Positive Thinking a Major "PLUS" To Your Life Transformation.

How does it feel to always live with smiles on your face? Is it actually possible?

It definitely is possible if we believe.

How do we believe?  By constantly and consciously feeding our thoughts with the positives rather than the negatives.

Do you know what positive people are always thinking? I will tell you a few.

The best of their today in relative to the best of their tomorrow. They are individuals who sign  up for call to actions than  rather watch the actions.

I remember when I used to be a Naysayer but realized it was taking me nowhere and decided to take the part of saying Nay to only Negative thoughts and made it a habit of keeping only the positives, I am still a work in progress.

Rather than complain of what you see, replace the complaints with the amazing thoughts of what you want to see, in that sense you find yourself working towards the beauty of the future.

How then can we consciously stay positive:

How I learnt to overcome the turbulence in Relationships: The secret of the foundation.

I hear people say I do not like how my relationship is going, this was not how it started so what has gone wrong?

Sometimes just when you think the foundation is right and the process is wrong, it could possibly be the other way round.

It is not wrong to feel a twist in the journey of a relationship. I once had a relationship in which I did not know the major reasons why I wanted to be in the relationship, but guess I was just naive, guess because of how much I thought I understood love and not wanting to feel lonely I dived into one.

If I was asked the questions I will be asking you now,I guess it would have been a lot easier for me.

Why are you going into a relationship? What do you hope to achieve from it?, Do you see your partner as one who will help you achieve that future you picture?

All these questions are the basics for the foundation of a relationship.

Just like the mansion you hope to see standing someday, before you start building, there are major questions you will ask just to ensure the house does not collapse the next year.

Same thing happens in a relationship. When I got in, I just wanted to avoid being lonely, I just enjoyed the feel of having to be in a relationship. But just like you, the journey started dangling, dangling, it was shaky, like a flight going through a major turbulence, quarrels, argument, happiness reduced, I did not know what was wrong but all I could just think of was God, let this cup pass over me.

I did not know what to do then, so I tried applying just one technique and that was inviting the big "C"

It is absolutely normal for the turbulence to come, especially when the beginning was not defined, but as a pilot you should be able to control the turbulence, these turbulence occurs because over time your priority became clearer to you and you started noticing the wrongs in your relationships, automatically when your partner tells you let us go out, you start saying why are
we always going out, can't we just stay indoors? It is normal.

This is not so terrible because it is normal that as we grow, we get clearer understanding of what we want.

How then can this be handled?

Just like me, you need to invite Big "C" "COMMUNICATION"

Rather than keep complaining about how things have changed, start communicating.

Now you have your priorities clear, sit with your partner and discuss.

If you do not communicate you and your partner might just be living separate lives and believing you are both doing your best to make things work, but then you have not done anything at all.

And to those who are yet to get into one, you are still opportuned to lay your foundation right, set your priorities and discuss it with the friend who wants to graduate to the next level, gone are the days of being like me.

Make your life easier and set it right.

Aligning your thoughts for a Happier You

Research has shown that 40% of our happiness comes from our thoughts and actions, which also mean that they are dependent on what we can take control of.

You can not imagine how much your thoughts limits you, it is as important as the steps we take everyday.

The things we think act as a block to our level of success and hence reduces our ability for all round success. Is this true?

I recently conducted a Q & A session trying to find out what makes people unhappy, I expected to see Financial crisis at the top of the list but then I got answers that had about 50% on Self, 40% on family, relationship and about 10% on financial crisis and the economy.

This goes a long way to further explain how we are products of what we think. Let us take a few of Self-Imposed thought actions:

- Sadness: I personally refer to sadness as the downtime of a person, leading to the inability to express Joy. Let us relate this to our technology, when they say there is a down time in our network, this simply states that some internal factors have gone low hence leading to interruption in the outward result of the network, the down time is from the back-end, so also is sadness a result of the back-end. The back-end in this case refers to our thoughts.

If you notice, you do not get sad in a second, you often get sad after a period of time and it starts with a frown, meaning that you actually sat and thought about the situation hence you got deeper into it and it caused a down time.

- Depression: This can be as a result of compound forces, which include but to mention a few, hatred, sadness, anger e.t.c. The ultimate effect of depression is the thought of Suicide.

The compound factors of hatred, sadness, anger are also from the back-end, which is your thought.

The uniqueness of our thoughts is that we are in CONTROL.

Guess you never thought about that.

How then do we align our thoughts towards happiness?

-Accept that you have the wrong thoughts
-Look for what revives your positive being (Personally songs and words of affirmation do it for me)
-Saturate your thoughts with everything positive, rather than think of who hurt you, think of who gave you that ultimate compliment (maybe not a compliment but who made you smile).

Does this happen in a day? Obviously not. It is a daily effort.

So let me hear from you, what did you struggle with? Anger, fear, depression or any other and let us know how you got through them.

"You Ought to be nothing but Happy"

FOLLOWING TRENDS AND HOW IT AFFECTS OUR HAPPINESS.

Most people tend to be extremely happy when the weekend arrives, is it because they are going to have a restful time and time off work or is it because everybody is saying thank God it's friday.

I have been going through the program with Steph Obi and I will be sharing lessons from her every tuesday. 

How does following the trend affect your happiness?

Most times we tend to want to achieve things because we see others do it and hence it affects us and causes us to feel depressed.

Better Your Act

How was your valentine day celebration?  It is just a day past valentine and everybody or most people obviously have their amazing stories. I had mine too.

This week looks really good, as I will be starting a three month's workshop with Stephanie Obi tagged the 7 Figure Online Business, my amazing coach, you can read about her on www.stephobi.com.

I registered for this workshop for 2 major reasons:

- To Master my act
- To Better my act.

There are lots more though...

It is essential in the level of progress for one to seek for more insight on a particular subject matter, to better yourself in one area of specialization.

Every individual should take part in being the better version of themselves. It is a conscious decision. You cannot be the best of yourself without taking conscious efforts to making that happen.

The little I know, nothing stops me from making it better and that which I am yet to learn nothing stops me from learning it.

Most of us tend to be limited by a few factors(including me) which include:
-Time  and Money.

But as it is said, "If you want something, you must sacrifice something else". Some of us make sacrifices of building our savings and starving so as to have a wardrobe full of clothes, that is awesome because asides having a beautiful wardrobe you are teaching yourself to be a lot more disciplined.

We can also make same sacrifice to better our act by Proper planning. Plan your time, plan your money.

That contract you need might just require that certification you have been ignoring and that your business might just require that leadership course you have always looked at and ignore. For a company to promote people in often times they conduct a training and write exams, that is because they want nothing but the best.

You are in charge of what level you attain, God has blessed us, he will not come from above to give you success, he can only make men favour you but you must be capable of the task, as he will not give you a task he knows you are not prepared for and how do you prepare yourself , by putting all you have to do in place.

Make that conscious decision to better an act. Whatsoever be the act. It could be in cooking, try a different dish, it could be in your area of career choose to read a book or two in relative to that, you could purchase or download an e-copy, whatever be the case learn to better your act. The
The Workshop I am having I will try sharing as much as I can here with my online family. But I believe it is going to be an amazing time.

Remember to better yourself in something this week, do not settle for better, head on for best and it can only happen with YOU.

Think about what you want to achieve.


I will love to hear from you in the comment section below, what activities will you like to better this week and what challengers do you think will;; stop you from achieving it?

3 Things I wished I knew before now.

A lot has happened in recent times that has made me wonder when will reality come or is it still coming.

From childhood till growing up, it has been a phase of progression, downsizing, sad, happy and all moments curbed in one atmosphere. You wake up to different sounds, words, stories and it keeps you always on the journey of your memory lane.

But then, I stay grateful for today because as much as I wished I knew them then, I am also grateful I know them now.

That is the basic principle of appreciation, I still bite my fingers any time I have to hear something I thought I should have known but ignored. So here are a few things I wished I knew before now:

How to Overcome the Fear of I am not smart enough.

I had a one-on-one session with a client, and we discussed all he does, being a very interesting person, he listed a few which include,

-Motivational education
-Radio Shows
-Project Manager at an engineering firm 

He says all I want to do is SUCCEED but I have not moved higher because I am scared of not being smart enough to make a larger impact and I doubt myself sometimes".

I smiled because this sounded like my previous self.

I asked who do you think is intelligent enough, give me a few names?

And he goes quiet.

I want to share my advice with you that helped my client double up on and made his eyes pop (in his own words).

The secret is that "the people we believe are the best also have the greatest fear in themselves"

Like Marie Forleo said during her session with Todd 

I still live in the fear of hoping my message passes the right help to people and hoping I do not run out on messages.

Persistence: The Toddler's Theory

I have a baby nephew and I must say, I am learning a whole lot from him. And one of these amazing characters I have learnt from him is persistence.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” Maya Angelou

Toddlers in their very beautiful look and beautiful heart as well tend to teach us little things we do not know but we can only learn this if we take out time to understand we can learn from everyone around us and even the toddlers are not left out. I learnt a life transforming lesson from my nephew.

You Give the World What You Want Them To Say About You

It has never been said of a lion that he is a goat, even if he tries to wear the skin of a goat, his character will definitely still sell him off.

I have grown to discover that most of the things that people say about us are things that we give them permission to say, maybe from a previous act of ours or something.

I had to go for a program one day and I needed to obviously dress official, but then guess I dressed too official and after that meeting I was asked if I attended one leadership program, that my face looked very familiar, it took me the whole world to get these people convinced that I had never even heard of this program.

Thinking I had done my best in convincing them, some days later on my way to work I met the person who anchored the program and a friend of his and he said, this Lady came for my program and she claims she did not attend the Day Star Leadership program and the friend goes, really? it is possible she didn't, maybe it is just her corporate looks that is actually making you guys feel she did.

And then it got to me, that you actually give the world what you want them to say about you, there might be those who are out there to gossip, but if you are you, out of a population of 5 Gossips, one must say, No! I think this lady or this guy is not that way.

There are two major things that get people making statements of you:

New Month Tidings: One Month, One Character Challenge

It is a new month and everyone seems to identify this month as the month of love, all thanks to St. Valentine.

Happy new month to my online family and I am sure January went real good for most of us, because it did for me.

In this new month we are going to be keeping up with our one month one character challenge, addressing one character, one month at a time.

In January, Mine was Diligence, what was yours?

Most of us might not understand why this character challenge is actually an important one. I feel character is a major asset that everyone should actually have the right measure, no one is perfect but then one must not be a write off when it comes to character. I actually did appreciate the Diligence I worked on in the month of January because it helped me in the following ways:

- To stay committed to activities
- To avoid procrastination.
- To be on time
- To make a promise and work towards keeping it.

These I could actually say I was a bit of a write-off before but now I guess I am getting pretty much better. I had people follow up with me and then I had my people here too keeping tabs on me.

The best way to make a challenge and keep it going for yourself is to try creating an accountability group for yourself, how does this work?

The Battle Is Not Yours

Why try to be a warrior in a war that originally was not designed to be fought by you.

Hello lovelies, how are we doing today? I must say some times we fight with who and what we are not supposed to fight with. We struggle with what originally is supposed to come to us really easy.

Why have you let the worries of life, make you give up on yourself?,  when Christ has said, cast all of your cares on me.

Why make yourself feel like no one on earth loves you?  when your creator has shown you so much love by sending His ONLY begotten son to die for you.

Why feel depressed when men promise and fail? when from inception it has been clearly stated that ONLY God is perfect.

Why feel like things are changing for the worse? how can you forget so soon, the God of the good times that He is still the same yesterday, today and forever, all you need to do is call.

Why have you decided to sell your happiness at no cost? when your strength lies in the Joy of the Lord.

Why then have you chosen to fight that battle with your physical strength?
forgetting that the Battle is the Lord's.

All of these are the promises of the only true, perfect, never failing God.

If you knew how much He so loved you that He does not even want you to hurt your feet on a stone, then you will make it a duty of casting all your burdens on Him because He always cares for you.

The battle is not yours, but the Lord's.