Monday Inspiration: USE THE HANDRAILS

Hello loverrrsss, It's a beautiful thing and above all a blessing to have seen a Monday again and for that I am grateful. I am grateful that I still have you in my circle reading my posts.

So, today I will be talking about USING THE HANDRAILS.

Now, you might be wondering, what exactly is about the handrail, it is simple, the Handrail is a safety measure to help you avoid a slip/fall when going up or down a step.

They are different situations in life that will require us holding fast to the handrail and taking a walk.
I will be listing a few:

• Nay Sayers: The negative people, the "no" it cannot work people, as much as you might just need people in your life sometimes to talk you out of the wrong situation be discerning to quickly hold on to the handrail and run real fast from those who always say No to everything you do and wish to accomplish. They have NOTHING good to offer, they only want to see you fall. 

• The Complainers: People who complain about every and anything. This is dangerous because in No time you become a complainer too. 

Soooo glad to be back

It feels super good to be back!! Woohoo!! 

I can’t even say hello to my lovers I once had here anymore because I know I have lost most of you but we will get to have that awesome relationship again. 

A lot has happened over the years but I am grateful it has all happened for good. 

How have you been?  

Please tell me in the comment section below. 

It is going to be an awesome time of inspiration, laughter and everything amazing, I might just be doing a bit of career this time, not like I know it all but I have gotten a hang of it now and I think I can be of help. 

My U-lovers. I missed you all, I don’t know how to go about this journey but right now there is one thing I know, I have got you all and we can go through this journey together, you and I know that this is my true zone, we share and learn from the heart and we keep it true.. 

Thanks to all my friends who have encouraged me to write again, my heart blesses you and I am certain you know how important you will always be, I am super grateful and to those who kept asking why I stopped writing, well....unnecessary excuses but never mind, we are back and you and I know it only gets better. 

Please leave a comment below and tell me what you want me to write. 

Please encourage me! 

Thank you 🙏🏻 

Smile Because You Can

Is it possible to stay smiling? A question someone asked me the other day. I sat on this question for a while because I had previously had a conversation with a friend and he goes, you are never smiling, you should learn to keep smiling so people will know you are approachable.

I wondered why should I just keep smiling even when walking on the road. But the day I tried it, I got these 3 answers,

Does my mood have anything to do with my thoughts?

I remember when I used to be the Lady of the mood swingers, when the next minute I am happy and then some moments later, I become the devil you never want to meet, my mood swing was actually like the kids swing, it swings from up to down at will. I almost did not know how to control it but then I also did not like what was going on, some even went ahead to say I was suffering from bi-polar disorder.

I intentionally decided to find out what exactly was going on with me. Why can I not just be happy and remain happy, why do I have to switch moods without a reason.

The truth is I thought there was no reason but they actually were reasons and the major reason was my thoughts.  The thin line between the moment we are happy and the moment we are not is the things we think about. As my journey to finding a solution to this “disorder” began, I realised whenever I listened to songs I always felt like I just got a revival but then it was not about the songs, it was the thought of the feel behind the song.

It is simple to know that the thoughts that go on in our head defines our behaviour. The behaviour/character we let out is as a result of the thoughts we had in our head.

I got to discover personally that my moods were as a result of thoughts of offences, character or action that I could not maybe speak or complain to the individual about. So I believed I had let it go but then It came up someway and somehow to trouble my mind and in turn switches who I am in some minutes.

This is what happens when we tend to store up a whole lot of things from the past on our inside. The thoughts that come out to be negative actions are those thoughts that store up in our minds to become garbage and the best way to let your thoughts be right is to let go of the garbage.

Free up the space.

Are you going to free up your space today?

Is it possible to let go of the garbage? YES IT IS!

‪#‎Redefining‬ Self for leadership: Part 2 (Your Identity)

There is one thing we can never run away from and that's our shadow. Even if we try to leave it goes with us wherever we go. That exactly is what our identity feels like.

We barely know how much influence we leave in the life of people we meet or hang around. By our identity, people tend to look up to us or ignore us based on what we display to them. Our identity is our stigma that we almost cannot depart from.

Having to lead simply means getting to have the right identity.

What then depicts the right identity?

True Self and Non-conformity

It is often common to see people state how they want to stand out from what people are doing, they want to be unique and then it is funny that more often than not that uniqueness you strive so hard to get is what someone else is already living as a unique style. Quite complicated.

I would not want to wear red because everyone is wearing red, I would rather wear blue. This is non-conformity, trying to stand out and be different from the crowd. Here you have the crowd dictating to you what you should do and what you should not do.

What then is true self? Being your true self means doing what is your best fit.

Most times we tend to mix our lives of non-conformity/uniqueness to being our true self but these two are entirely different.

Non-conformity is making decisions based on dictations from the crowd and True self is making decisions based on self and best fit.


In life we ought to learn to be our true self rather than try not to conform to what others say.

I have been a victim too.

I needed to go for an occasion sometime and I went online in search of a shoe. I saw a very beautiful shoe, it was so beautiful and my size was available(very happy me). I did not hesitate to click the purchase button, then I got a call almost immediately to confirm the order. I was so excited (I am always excited when I know something new that "I love" is coming).

On my way home at the close of work that same day, I stopped at the mall to quickly get myself some toiletries and on stepping in I saw a lady beautifully dressed at first glance, I had not taken my time to look at her properly and when I had a proper look from head to toe....Guess what I saw???

My Shoe!!! I actually felt like someone was wearing my own shoe even though mine had not arrived and then I just automatically said to myself this shoe is everywhere(I wonder how one meant all).

Unfortunately I could not cancel my order, so I had to accept the shoe when it came but then the love I had for it had faded as I already told myself it is everywhere and I can not wear it again.

Reality dawned on me when I realized I needed a blue shoe for my outfit (oh sorry I didn't tell you the shoe was blue) and it was already too late as I did not plan an alternative for the occasion even when I had told myself I was not going to wear it.

So I was left with the option of not going for the occasion or just wearing that shoe, not minding who will be wearing it with me (what a mindset)

The occasion was too important to me that a shoe could not stop me from going, so I came up with a plan C I said I could also be unique and wear a color that goes with the dress, everybody in the occasion will be wearing a blue shoe so let me wear a different color (where on earth did this come from?).

Okay, now you are thinking I am confused but then I actually was very confused because I fought with not doing what I wanted because of the crowd and that was just the major confusion of a life time.

To wrap it up, I went to the blue event with a red shoe that I normally would not have thought of wearing  so I basically did not like my outfit but then I felt good because I was not conforming to what others did(lol) and at that event I was consciously looking at the blue shoes to see if my look alike was there but to my own foolishness it was not there.

So, I had a major loss and that loss was to Self.

And I had to learn this "Never try to feel Unique from the crowd at the detriment of your True Self".

And from that day I told myself I would rather do what soothes me not minding what happens than do what soothes the crowd, either to be unique or as a form of non-conformity.

Now the question goes like this?

Are you still that me that would rather not do something because you are trying to be different from the crowd,at the expense of what you love?
OR
Are you that me that will make the decision to do what is best for you and what you love?

Your uniqueness starts from being original, nobody has your style, nobody can be you. Even if a million and one people are doing a particular thing always tell yourself that they are not "YOU" . If not for anything they do not have your face.

Your look already makes you different and your true self might just be the one the world has been waiting for.

How do you achieve this by connecting to your core value and passion.
 
Quit Non-conformity and stick to True self, that's where your value lies.

Wishing you a very happy Easter. Celebrate in your true Self.

How I learnt to overcome the turbulence in Relationships: The secret of the foundation.

I hear people say I do not like how my relationship is going, this was not how it started so what has gone wrong?

Sometimes just when you think the foundation is right and the process is wrong, it could possibly be the other way round.

It is not wrong to feel a twist in the journey of a relationship. I once had a relationship in which I did not know the major reasons why I wanted to be in the relationship, but guess I was just naive, guess because of how much I thought I understood love and not wanting to feel lonely I dived into one.

If I was asked the questions I will be asking you now,I guess it would have been a lot easier for me.

Why are you going into a relationship? What do you hope to achieve from it?, Do you see your partner as one who will help you achieve that future you picture?

All these questions are the basics for the foundation of a relationship.

Just like the mansion you hope to see standing someday, before you start building, there are major questions you will ask just to ensure the house does not collapse the next year.

Same thing happens in a relationship. When I got in, I just wanted to avoid being lonely, I just enjoyed the feel of having to be in a relationship. But just like you, the journey started dangling, dangling, it was shaky, like a flight going through a major turbulence, quarrels, argument, happiness reduced, I did not know what was wrong but all I could just think of was God, let this cup pass over me.

I did not know what to do then, so I tried applying just one technique and that was inviting the big "C"

It is absolutely normal for the turbulence to come, especially when the beginning was not defined, but as a pilot you should be able to control the turbulence, these turbulence occurs because over time your priority became clearer to you and you started noticing the wrongs in your relationships, automatically when your partner tells you let us go out, you start saying why are
we always going out, can't we just stay indoors? It is normal.

This is not so terrible because it is normal that as we grow, we get clearer understanding of what we want.

How then can this be handled?

Just like me, you need to invite Big "C" "COMMUNICATION"

Rather than keep complaining about how things have changed, start communicating.

Now you have your priorities clear, sit with your partner and discuss.

If you do not communicate you and your partner might just be living separate lives and believing you are both doing your best to make things work, but then you have not done anything at all.

And to those who are yet to get into one, you are still opportuned to lay your foundation right, set your priorities and discuss it with the friend who wants to graduate to the next level, gone are the days of being like me.

Make your life easier and set it right.

Aligning your thoughts for a Happier You

Research has shown that 40% of our happiness comes from our thoughts and actions, which also mean that they are dependent on what we can take control of.

You can not imagine how much your thoughts limits you, it is as important as the steps we take everyday.

The things we think act as a block to our level of success and hence reduces our ability for all round success. Is this true?

I recently conducted a Q & A session trying to find out what makes people unhappy, I expected to see Financial crisis at the top of the list but then I got answers that had about 50% on Self, 40% on family, relationship and about 10% on financial crisis and the economy.

This goes a long way to further explain how we are products of what we think. Let us take a few of Self-Imposed thought actions:

- Sadness: I personally refer to sadness as the downtime of a person, leading to the inability to express Joy. Let us relate this to our technology, when they say there is a down time in our network, this simply states that some internal factors have gone low hence leading to interruption in the outward result of the network, the down time is from the back-end, so also is sadness a result of the back-end. The back-end in this case refers to our thoughts.

If you notice, you do not get sad in a second, you often get sad after a period of time and it starts with a frown, meaning that you actually sat and thought about the situation hence you got deeper into it and it caused a down time.

- Depression: This can be as a result of compound forces, which include but to mention a few, hatred, sadness, anger e.t.c. The ultimate effect of depression is the thought of Suicide.

The compound factors of hatred, sadness, anger are also from the back-end, which is your thought.

The uniqueness of our thoughts is that we are in CONTROL.

Guess you never thought about that.

How then do we align our thoughts towards happiness?

-Accept that you have the wrong thoughts
-Look for what revives your positive being (Personally songs and words of affirmation do it for me)
-Saturate your thoughts with everything positive, rather than think of who hurt you, think of who gave you that ultimate compliment (maybe not a compliment but who made you smile).

Does this happen in a day? Obviously not. It is a daily effort.

So let me hear from you, what did you struggle with? Anger, fear, depression or any other and let us know how you got through them.

"You Ought to be nothing but Happy"

FOLLOWING TRENDS AND HOW IT AFFECTS OUR HAPPINESS.

Most people tend to be extremely happy when the weekend arrives, is it because they are going to have a restful time and time off work or is it because everybody is saying thank God it's friday.

I have been going through the program with Steph Obi and I will be sharing lessons from her every tuesday. 

How does following the trend affect your happiness?

Most times we tend to want to achieve things because we see others do it and hence it affects us and causes us to feel depressed.